At least there’ll be food

I’ve promised a buffalo cauliflower recipe for 5 years now, but never posted it because I hadn’t perfected it, but now it’s tried and tested, and with an awful Super Bowl Sunday on the horizon, it seems like the perfect time to share it.

These were good y’all, but I perfected them. Read on.

Another reason I never posted it, was that my initial post on Instagram/Facebook got some funny-with-a-dash-of-troll comments. Some dudes said they looked like testicles and that this was the meal you ate before suicide.

Yeah, so people who never commented on my stuff came out of the woodwork to say something really profound. Thanks, you add to my stats and I really appreciate it.

Anyways, the recipe which I think I got from Peta was good, but was lacking something. Beer and crunch. So, I took care of that with this new and improved recipe.

Buffalo Hearts of Palm

This is an all-purpose batter that I’ve tested with cauliflower and hearts of palm. You can swap out the beer for sparkling water, regular water, or milk. I recommend using a wheat beer, ale, or good ol’ Natty Light. Panko crumbs are optional, but they of course add that crunch that was missing as a result of baking.

Cauliflower Wings

  • 1 head of cauliflower or 1 can of hearts of palm (drained, rinsed, & sliced)
  • ½ cup beer (lagers, ambers, & wheat bears are best)*
  • ½ cup flour
  • ¼-½ tsp garlic powderFullSizeRender
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • About 1 cup Panko bread crumbs

Buffalo Sauce: ¾ cup Hot sauce (I like Frank’s) & 1 tbsp. butter or vegetable spread, melted

* You can sub carbonated water or non-dairy milk for beer.

  1. Preheat oven to 450 degrees. Core cauliflower and cut into pieces.
  2. Combine the beer, flour, garlic powder, salt, and pepper in a bowl and whisk until well combined. Add more liquid if batter is too thick or more flour if too runny. Place panko crumbs in another bowl.
  3. Dip and coat the cauliflower pieces in the batter, shaking off excess batter, and then dip in panko crumbs, coating evenly. Place in a shallow baking pan (line with parchment paper for easier cleanup).
  4. Bake for 18 minutes. While the cauliflower is baking, combine hot sauce and butter in a small bowl. Place the baked cauliflower in a bowl, pour sauce over, and toss until coated. Serve as is, or return cauliflower to pan and bake an additional 5-8 minutes to crisp up.
  5. Serve with your favorite dressing or dipping sauce.

On Ranch Dressing

Vegan: Follow Your Heart Ranch is the best. Just Ranch is pretty good. Daiya is seemingly good at first and then just tastes like paint.

Vegetarian: Head to Las Cruces & pick up a bottle of Dion’s Ranch. It’s worth the drive.

Other Super Bowl-worthy recipes seen online:

Guacamole Guide Courtesy of Epicurious (yes, I’m obsessed with Bon Appetit & Epicurious):



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